How Much Would You Give for the Sake of Love? - Vernette's Story
I was confronted by how much I desired my comfort in Israel.
It was the height of summer, and I could see heat waves in places where we visited as the intensity of the terrain overwhelmed me. To make matters worse, I slipped and fell in the wilderness - further increasing my frustration with the journey.
On the last few days, I was underdressed for the tough Israel terrain, and I chose to opt out of hiking with everyone else. Defeated, I told the group to go ahead as I opened my bible hoping for the Lord to speak to me.
In the midst of my complaining and grumbling, the Lord confronted me about the state of my heart. There and then, the Lord said to me in the stern discipline of a Father:
“If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” [1]
From this passage, He confronted the two biggest things in my heart that hindered complete obedience in love as a Singaporean - my job security and familial comforts. I knew there and then that if He were to call me to lay down these comforts, I would struggle to respond.
In the Garden of Gethsemane, Andrew was sharing on how Mary, through the years of relationship and knowing Christ, could understand His desire at His moment of weakness to the cross. Her breaking the alabaster jar at His feet was not just one random moment in history, it was many small acts of trust and love that culminated to that moment. She prepared to give her inheritance, that He would have all the honour on the day of His burial.
“Leave her alone,” Jesus replied. “She intended to save this perfume for the day of my burial. You will always have the poor among you, but you will not always have me.” [2]
Because of her offering, she was able to clothe Jesus in fragrance when He was beaten, naked and bloody on the cross. At the very end when all senses faded for Him, He could smell her worship as He took on the world’s sin. He could have a friend that stood with Him in His greatest moment of pain.
Instead of just a distant appreciation for Mary, I knew that God was looking upon His people and extending the same invitation to me. Was Jesus worthy of my all that I could prepare to give everything up for the sake of love? If the unnamed widow pleased the heart of God by giving all that she had [3], could I do the same? Or, would I be like the rich man who would store all my goods up for myself for a comfortable life, but only in vain? [4]
In immaturity and weakness, I decided to say yes to the Lord in what I knew would cost me everything. Since Israel, and I have obeyed the call to give up my corporate career to serve the Lord in the House of prayer as an intecessory missionary.
“I give my life To spend and be spent for You I give my song To be touched by Your fire and consumed Some say it's wasteful But they don't know You I give my love And I get You.” [5]
[1] Matthew 16:25.
[2] John 12:7-8.
[3] Luke 21:1-4.
[4] Luke 12:16-20.
[5] “You Must Increase” by Laura Hackett Park, 2022.